We often expect perfection from our relationships. We aren't ready to deal with the other persons imperfections or problems.
We hold onto their flaws and try to change them and we store up our feelings and cause arguments.
If you want to ride on a rollercoaster, you have to pay a fee to get on it.
It is the same for relationships.
The person will have some habits you don't like. They are a human not a perfect entity.
You have some flaws they don't like. That is fine.
There are some non-negotiables you need for a healthy relationship but the other things you should be flexible on.
If you are tidy and they always leave the dirty dishes this could be annoying. If this still happens after a few years it is not worth getting annoyed at them everyday!
Accept them as they are. This flaw is one of the prices you pay for being in a relationship with them.
Remember you probably annoy them daily with something you don't think about.
Just go with the flow and smile every time you clean the dishes because you know that its something that could cause an argument but instead you are accepting it.
You can learn to enjoy the chore as part of the price for building your relationship.
There is no point complaining and harbouring bad feelings.
A relationship is a ride.
You must willingly pay the price of admission.
Inspired by The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast
(Also in The Psychology of Money, Morgan Housel explains an alternative concept of 'paying the price of admission'. To enjoy stock market returns you must accept the volatility of stocks and expect them to go down sometimes on the path to a return.)